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	<title>Urbzen &#187; Twitter</title>
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		<title>In defense of Twitter</title>
		<link>http://urbzen.com/2009/03/30/in-defense-of-twitter/</link>
		<comments>http://urbzen.com/2009/03/30/in-defense-of-twitter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:50:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Unsolicited Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[banality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[web 2.0]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://urbzen.com/?p=66</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Recently, a colleague stopped following me on Twitter because, he says, keeping up with my feed is â€œemotionally exhausting.â€ Others have panned the practice as banal, self-indulgent, time-consuming or narcissistic. And then thereâ€™s this video, which successfully, and hilariously, paints &#8230; <a href="http://urbzen.com/2009/03/30/in-defense-of-twitter/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Recently, a colleague stopped following me on Twitter because, he says, keeping up with <a href="http://twitter.com/StephanieInCA" target="_blank">my feed</a> is â€œemotionally exhausting.â€ Others have panned the practice as <a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/ariel_leve/article5988083.ece" target="_blank">banal</a>, <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_11952407?nclick_check=1" target="_blank">self-indulgent</a>, <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20090328.COWENT28/TPStory/National" target="_blank">time-consuming</a> or <a href="http://www.brandrepublic.com/News/894362/Holy-Moly-reveals-top-40-celebrity-narcissists-Twitter/" target="_blank">narcissistic</a>. And then thereâ€™s this video, which successfully, and hilariously, paints Twitter as absurd in the extreme:</p>
<p><span style="text-align: center; display: block;"><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PN2HAroA12w&amp;rel=1&amp;fs=1&amp;showsearch=0&amp;hd=0"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PN2HAroA12w&amp;rel=1&amp;fs=1&amp;showsearch=0&amp;hd=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"> </object></span></p>
<p>All of these folks make good points. And, as most who know me are aware, I am nothing if not banal, self-indulgent, time-consuming, narcissistic and otherwise emotionally exhaustingâ€”but thatâ€™s me, not Twitter. <strong>Twitter itself is nothing more than a medium</strong> I use to disseminate my narcissism, banality, etc., and like all other media, it can be used well or it can be used poorly.</p>
<p>When used poorly, you get the Twitter described above. But when you use it well, Twitter becomes something more than yet another social networking site; namely, a real-time, collaborative mental sketch pad that allows the user to take an idea, throw it in the hopper, and see what comes back. At itâ€™s best, Twitter isnâ€™t about getting to know each other so much as it is about sharing ideas, shaping a larger dialogue and watching the cultural zeitgeist develop in real time.</p>
<p><span id="more-664"></span></p>
<p><strong>The beauty of Twitter, and what separates it from the navel-gazing echo chamber of social networking, is that Twitter relationships arenâ€™t necessarily reciprocal. </strong>I follow plenty of people, from the actually famous (<a href="http://twitter.com/clairecmc" target="_blank">@clairecmc</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/the_real_shaq" target="_blank">@the_real_shaq</a>) to the microfamous (<a href="http://twitter.com/jessicavalenti" target="_blank">@JessicaValenti</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/arimelber" target="_blank">@AriMelber</a>) to the not at all famous (<a href="http://twitter.com/provenself" target="_blank">@provenself</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/weelaura" target="_blank">@WeeLaura</a>), who donâ€™t follow me back. That the relationship is one-sided isnâ€™t any skin off my noseâ€”I certainly donâ€™t expect that every blogger I read logs on Urbzen.com.  I follow them because Iâ€™m interested in what they have to say, not because I think weâ€™re somehow going to become internet BFFs. Good content is good content, regardless of the medium.</p>
<p><strong>Similarly, I donâ€™t automatically follow everyone who follows me</strong>. I feel very fortunate that a relatively large number of people are interested enough in what I have to say to make it a part of their Twitter stream. But their decision to read my tweets doesnâ€™t make me any more or less likely to want to read theirs.</p>
<p>The Current video makes a good point that Twitter opens the door for a lot of banality. â€œI just put my socks on.â€ â€œItâ€™s raining.â€ â€œIce cream is delicious.â€ and thatâ€™s where the nonreciprocal nature of Twitter shinesâ€”<strong>Itâ€™s an intellectual meritocracy.</strong> Good content is rewarded, while bad content is ignored. And everybody gets to define what good and bad means to them. Itâ€™s like a personalized RSS feed of other peopleâ€™s brains.</p>
<p>Another advantage of the not-necessarily-reciprocal nature of Twitter is that itâ€™s <strong>allowed me to build a much more interesting and diverse community </strong>than I have on, say, Facebook. The fact is that most of my friendsâ€”on Facebook and in â€œreal lifeâ€â€”are a lot like me: youngish, professional, liberal, childlessâ€”which creates a sort of social echo chamber. On Twitter, by contrast, I can and do choose to follow and engage with people who have vastly different experiences and ideas than I do, which creates a much more invigorating conversation. Iâ€™m certainly not â€œfriendsâ€ with a lot of these folksâ€”many of them would probably like to throttle me, honestlyâ€”but the debate is interesting, and we keep each other sharp.</p>
<p>Maybe Twitter is a fad. Maybe itâ€™s not. Either way, donâ€™t use it and youâ€™re missing out on one hell of a conversation.</p>
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		<title>Breakup 2.0</title>
		<link>http://urbzen.com/2009/02/17/breakup-2-0/</link>
		<comments>http://urbzen.com/2009/02/17/breakup-2-0/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:45:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Baggage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unsolicited Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breakups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://urbzen.com/?p=103</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Breakups have never been simple affairs. No matter how quickly we try to tear off the Band-Aid, thereâ€™s the inevitable period of disentanglement between the initial conversation (â€œWe have to talkâ€¦â€) and the final separation (â€œKthxbyeâ€). And generally, the longer &#8230; <a href="http://urbzen.com/2009/02/17/breakup-2-0/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Breakups have never been simple affairs. No matter how quickly we try to tear off the Band-Aid, thereâ€™s the inevitable period of disentanglement between the initial conversation (â€œWe have to talkâ€¦â€) and the final separation (â€œKthxbyeâ€). And generally, the longer the relationship was, the longer this period lasts. We return each otherâ€™s things<span>*</span>; maybe bid farewell to each otherâ€™s families; and if you happen to have been living together, well, thatâ€™s a whole other fistful of horrible.</p>
<p>But now thereâ€™s a new step. In addition to the tears, the drama, the fights over furniture and real estate, thereâ€™s the Social Media Separation. Itâ€™s hard to end a relationship quietly or privately when the entire saga is played out in news feed updates and little broken-heart icons on Facebook. Itâ€™s the electronic equivalent of standing up in front of everyone you know and shouting, â€œHi. My relationship failed. Just thought you should know.â€ And then taking questions.</p>
<p><a href="http://urbzen.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/shame.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-592" title="shame" src="http://urbzen.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/shame.jpg?w=443&amp;h=108" alt="shame" height="108" width="443"></a></p>
<p>Of course, thereâ€™s often something to be said for public humiliation. Particularly for those tender souls who feel things like â€œshameâ€ or â€œremorse,â€ a good calling-out can be a good way to administer punishment, modify behavior, or just stir up some resentment, if thatâ€™s what youâ€™re after. But breakups are hard enough without the digital self-flagellation inherent in social networks.</p>
<p>Really, there is no moving on in the world of social media, or if there is, it isnâ€™t easy. Are you supposed to un-friend your ex? If so, who goes first, the dump-er or the dump-ee? What about friends of theirs who youâ€™ve friended? Do you give them the boot too? Awkward.</p>
<p>How about <a href="http://twitter.com/StephanieInCA" target="_blank">Twitter</a>? Even if you stop following your ex, youâ€™re still able to see his Twitter feed, and you know that in a moment of weakness, you <em>will</em> go there. Do you really want to see him flirting with other users? Do you want him to see you?</p>
<p>Iâ€™m not suggesting that anyone sit digital Shiva for weeks after a relationship ends; Weâ€™ve all got lives to live, jobs to do, beers to drink, bad decisions to make, over and over and over again. Itâ€™s just that for all the advantages of living in a hyperconnected world, itâ€™s also hard, when all you want to do is disconnect.</p>
<p><span><em>*Unless you break up with me via text message. Then Iâ€™m giving your shit to the homeless. You know who you are.</em></span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>You will never hate me like I hate me</title>
		<link>http://urbzen.com/2009/02/05/you-will-never-hate-me-like-i-hate-me/</link>
		<comments>http://urbzen.com/2009/02/05/you-will-never-hate-me-like-i-hate-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Feb 2009 15:59:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Baggage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[emoticons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[narcissism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-loathing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://urbzen.com/?p=114</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a rel="attachment wp-att-577" href="http://urbzen.com/?attachment_id=577" target="_blank"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-577" title="self-loathing-meter1" src="http://urbzen.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/self-loathing-meter1.jpg?w=452&amp;h=460" alt="self-loathing-meter1" height="460" width="452"></a></p>
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