Urbzen

WASHINGTON–Secret Service officials announced today that for security reasons, Sen. Barack Obama will make all public appearances enclosed in a giant bulletproof hamster ball for the duration of the 2008 presidential campaign.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, sources close to the Illinois senator confirm tonight that, following a foiled assasination plot, Obama has agreed to be outfitted with a 7′-diameter transparent sphere constructed from the material used by the Vatican to create the Popemobile.

Campaign officials confirm that they are also outfitting Vice Presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden with a sphere, which will be entirely soundproof.