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	<title>Urbzen &#187; Facebook</title>
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	<description>A funny thing happened on the way to web stardom</description>
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		<title>In defense of Twitter</title>
		<link>http://urbzen.com/2009/03/30/in-defense-of-twitter/</link>
		<comments>http://urbzen.com/2009/03/30/in-defense-of-twitter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:50:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Unsolicited Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[banality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[web 2.0]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://urbzen.com/?p=66</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Recently, a colleague stopped following me on Twitter because, he says, keeping up with my feed is “emotionally exhausting.” Others have panned the practice as banal, self-indulgent, time-consuming or narcissistic. And then there’s this video, which successfully, and hilariously, paints Twitter as absurd in the extreme:
 
All of these folks make good points. And, as [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Recently, a colleague stopped following me on Twitter because, he says, keeping up with <a href="http://twitter.com/StephanieInCA" target="_blank">my feed</a> is “emotionally exhausting.” Others have panned the practice as <a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/ariel_leve/article5988083.ece" target="_blank">banal</a>, <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/business/ci_11952407?nclick_check=1" target="_blank">self-indulgent</a>, <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20090328.COWENT28/TPStory/National" target="_blank">time-consuming</a> or <a href="http://www.brandrepublic.com/News/894362/Holy-Moly-reveals-top-40-celebrity-narcissists-Twitter/" target="_blank">narcissistic</a>. And then there’s this video, which successfully, and hilariously, paints Twitter as absurd in the extreme:</p>
<p><span style="text-align: center; display: block;"><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PN2HAroA12w&amp;rel=1&amp;fs=1&amp;showsearch=0&amp;hd=0"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PN2HAroA12w&amp;rel=1&amp;fs=1&amp;showsearch=0&amp;hd=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"> </object></span></p>
<p>All of these folks make good points. And, as most who know me are aware, I am nothing if not banal, self-indulgent, time-consuming, narcissistic and otherwise emotionally exhausting—but that’s me, not Twitter. <strong>Twitter itself is nothing more than a medium</strong> I use to disseminate my narcissism, banality, etc., and like all other media, it can be used well or it can be used poorly.</p>
<p>When used poorly, you get the Twitter described above. But when you use it well, Twitter becomes something more than yet another social networking site; namely, a real-time, collaborative mental sketch pad that allows the user to take an idea, throw it in the hopper, and see what comes back. At it’s best, Twitter isn’t about getting to know each other so much as it is about sharing ideas, shaping a larger dialogue and watching the cultural zeitgeist develop in real time.</p>
<p><span id="more-664"></span></p>
<p><strong>The beauty of Twitter, and what separates it from the navel-gazing echo chamber of social networking, is that Twitter relationships aren’t necessarily reciprocal. </strong>I follow plenty of people, from the actually famous (<a href="http://twitter.com/clairecmc" target="_blank">@clairecmc</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/the_real_shaq" target="_blank">@the_real_shaq</a>) to the microfamous (<a href="http://twitter.com/jessicavalenti" target="_blank">@JessicaValenti</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/arimelber" target="_blank">@AriMelber</a>) to the not at all famous (<a href="http://twitter.com/provenself" target="_blank">@provenself</a>, <a href="http://twitter.com/weelaura" target="_blank">@WeeLaura</a>), who don’t follow me back. That the relationship is one-sided isn’t any skin off my nose—I certainly don’t expect that every blogger I read logs on Urbzen.com.  I follow them because I’m interested in what they have to say, not because I think we’re somehow going to become internet BFFs. Good content is good content, regardless of the medium.</p>
<p><strong>Similarly, I don’t automatically follow everyone who follows me</strong>. I feel very fortunate that a relatively large number of people are interested enough in what I have to say to make it a part of their Twitter stream. But their decision to read my tweets doesn’t make me any more or less likely to want to read theirs.</p>
<p>The Current video makes a good point that Twitter opens the door for a lot of banality. “I just put my socks on.” “It’s raining.” “Ice cream is delicious.” and that’s where the nonreciprocal nature of Twitter shines—<strong>It’s an intellectual meritocracy.</strong> Good content is rewarded, while bad content is ignored. And everybody gets to define what good and bad means to them. It’s like a personalized RSS feed of other people’s brains.</p>
<p>Another advantage of the not-necessarily-reciprocal nature of Twitter is that it’s <strong>allowed me to build a much more interesting and diverse community </strong>than I have on, say, Facebook. The fact is that most of my friends—on Facebook and in “real life”—are a lot like me: youngish, professional, liberal, childless—which creates a sort of social echo chamber. On Twitter, by contrast, I can and do choose to follow and engage with people who have vastly different experiences and ideas than I do, which creates a much more invigorating conversation. I’m certainly not “friends” with a lot of these folks—many of them would probably like to throttle me, honestly—but the debate is interesting, and we keep each other sharp.</p>
<p>Maybe Twitter is a fad. Maybe it’s not. Either way, don’t use it and you’re missing out on one hell of a conversation.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Breakup 2.0</title>
		<link>http://urbzen.com/2009/02/17/breakup-2-0/</link>
		<comments>http://urbzen.com/2009/02/17/breakup-2-0/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Feb 2009 15:45:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Baggage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Unsolicited Advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breakups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social media]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social networking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://urbzen.com/?p=103</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Breakups have never been simple affairs. No matter how quickly we try to tear off the Band-Aid, there’s the inevitable period of disentanglement between the initial conversation (“We have to talk…”) and the final separation (“Kthxbye”). And generally, the longer the relationship was, the longer this period lasts. We return each other’s things*; maybe bid [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Breakups have never been simple affairs. No matter how quickly we try to tear off the Band-Aid, there’s the inevitable period of disentanglement between the initial conversation (“We have to talk…”) and the final separation (“Kthxbye”). And generally, the longer the relationship was, the longer this period lasts. We return each other’s things<span>*</span>; maybe bid farewell to each other’s families; and if you happen to have been living together, well, that’s a whole other fistful of horrible.</p>
<p>But now there’s a new step. In addition to the tears, the drama, the fights over furniture and real estate, there’s the Social Media Separation. It’s hard to end a relationship quietly or privately when the entire saga is played out in news feed updates and little broken-heart icons on Facebook. It’s the electronic equivalent of standing up in front of everyone you know and shouting, “Hi. My relationship failed. Just thought you should know.” And then taking questions.</p>
<p><a href="http://urbzen.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/shame.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-592" title="shame" src="http://urbzen.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/shame.jpg?w=443&amp;h=108" alt="shame" height="108" width="443"></a></p>
<p>Of course, there’s often something to be said for public humiliation. Particularly for those tender souls who feel things like “shame” or “remorse,” a good calling-out can be a good way to administer punishment, modify behavior, or just stir up some resentment, if that’s what you’re after. But breakups are hard enough without the digital self-flagellation inherent in social networks.</p>
<p>Really, there is no moving on in the world of social media, or if there is, it isn’t easy. Are you supposed to un-friend your ex? If so, who goes first, the dump-er or the dump-ee? What about friends of theirs who you’ve friended? Do you give them the boot too? Awkward.</p>
<p>How about <a href="http://twitter.com/StephanieInCA" target="_blank">Twitter</a>? Even if you stop following your ex, you’re still able to see his Twitter feed, and you know that in a moment of weakness, you <em>will</em> go there. Do you really want to see him flirting with other users? Do you want him to see you?</p>
<p>I’m not suggesting that anyone sit digital Shiva for weeks after a relationship ends; We’ve all got lives to live, jobs to do, beers to drink, bad decisions to make, over and over and over again. It’s just that for all the advantages of living in a hyperconnected world, it’s also hard, when all you want to do is disconnect.</p>
<p><span><em>*Unless you break up with me via text message. Then I’m giving your shit to the homeless. You know who you are.</em></span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Why we&#8217;re no longer friends on Facebook.</title>
		<link>http://urbzen.com/2008/11/17/why-were-no-longer-friends-on-facebook/</link>
		<comments>http://urbzen.com/2008/11/17/why-were-no-longer-friends-on-facebook/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:45:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[banality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social networking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://urbzen.com/?p=219</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi. This is awkward. &#160;Well, awkward for you anyhow. You might have noticed that I recently terminated our friendship on Facebook. Please try not to be too upset. This decision is by no means a reflection on you or on the validity of your thoughts, feelings, and posted items. I’m just really, really tired of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="MsoNormal">Hi. This is awkward. &nbsp;Well, awkward for you anyhow. You might have noticed that I recently terminated our friendship on Facebook. Please try not to be too upset. This decision is by no means a reflection on you or on the validity of your thoughts, feelings, and posted items. I’m just really, really tired of hearing about them. The reasons for your termination include the following:</p>
<ul>
<li>Status updates that could apply to every single person on Facebook. Really, you hate Monday? You’re glad it’s Friday? You’re looking forward to the long weekend? Well somebody alert the goddam media.</li>
<li>Using your status updates solely as a vehicle to promote your website, consulting company or crocheted cat sweater store on <a href="http://etsy.com">Etsy</a>. Violation will be considered particularly flagrant if accompanied by a <a href="http://www.practicewealth.com/images/index.1.jpg">sleazy headshot</a> and words like “Deals” or “Opportunity.”</li>
<li>Gratuitous banality.</li>
<li>Overuse of exclamation points and/or emoticons. If you need them to tell me how! happy! you are!!!!!! you should probably just work on becoming a more effective writer <img src="http://s.wordpress.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="wp-smiley">  !!!</li>
<li>Missing the irony</li>
<li>The sincere belief that song lyrics express your unique emotions</li>
<li>Repeatedly harassing me about your lil green patch. I do not want to know about the size and/or color of your patch.&nbsp;</li>
<li>&nbsp;Posting things everyone has already seen, fifteen times, more than a week after we saw it. What? Sarah Palin made an ass of herself with Katie Couric? Well let me get right on THAT.</li>
<li>I never actually liked you anyway.</li>
</ul>
<p>Please note that the above list of Facebook Friend Violations (FFV) is not intended to be exhaustive and that we reserve the right to terminate friendships for any reason and without prior notice. Kthx.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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