Cantor, Ryan Announce Congressional Varsity Caucus
In a move that has sent excited whispers through the halls of Congress, Representatives Eric “Big E” Cantor and Paul “R-Money” Ryan yesterday announced the formation of the Congressional Varsity Clique Caucus, an organization they say will focus on reining in government spending, promoting open markets, and picking up chicks.
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The CVC will not include noted loser John Boehner, who, sources say, is a total poser who everybody only hangs out with because he has a totally sweet rec room and always buys the beer.
At the announcement during homeroom morning session, Cantor and Ryan outlined the group’s priorities, which include messing with freshmen, pantsing Boehner and ditching class to go to concerts.
In an interview with Urbzen.com, Ryan said the group was looking forward to getting to work and described the membership as “stoked.”